The Walk of a Disciple (Part Three)

The Transformation of Being

Christine Olding

I don’t know when it happened. I can guess, though I’m not exactly sure. But looking back on my life, I realize that somewhere along the way I began a shift from doing discipleship-themed things to doing the work of becoming someone who was a disciple. Yes, they are different! It crept up on me subtly, because my goal wasn’t to become a disciple. To be honest, I didn’t realize I needed to become one. I thought I already was one by believing in Jesus.
 
I had always attended or practised discipleship-themed activities. I read my Bible, attended small groups, volunteered at church functions, and even picked up some religious-focused responsibilities, such as teaching Sunday school and helping with church events and services. I was never on the worship team, as that would have been painful for all involved (lol). But all these things were external. I was performing the tasks of a disciple without investing in a relationship with the Father and surrendering to the One, Jesus, I claimed to follow. My thought life, emotional processing, relationships, career, money and time were all primarily untouched by my discipleship-styled works.
 
Don’t get me wrong, all these activities are good and Biblical. But they had a very limited impact on my internal world. I could get “feel good” moments from helping or spending time with others without engaging much with the Father at all. He wasn’t Lord of my life.
 
Just because you live in a barn doesn’t mean you are a horse.
 
I suspect I would have continued this way indefinitely if not for the inevitable crisis we all eventually face. That time when our world is rocked to the core. Where coping skills and Christian sayings no longer meet our needs. When my crisis hit, actually a series of them, I had several options to choose from:
 

•    I could find others who were going through similar situations and take comfort in complaining with them.

•    I could turn to the world’s belief systems for guidance.

•    I could find a good counsellor and ask them, and only them, what to do.

•    I could dig deep into the Word, press into the Father’s presence and ask the One I worship and follow for help, wisdom and comfort – and then seek Godly counsel.

 
Thankfully, I picked the last option, and the counsellor I sought help from demonstrated the wisdom to walk alongside me rather than become a substitute for God in my life. Biblical community is so important! But if community replaces our primary relationship with God, we are in danger of becoming disciples of our community instead of our Heavenly Father. It is only through an invested and surrendered life to our Father in Heaven, the triune Godhead, that we can become disciples. His words alone can heal and transform our inner world, priorities and relationships.
 
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; 
    you discern my thoughts from afar. 
You search out my path and my lying down 
    and are acquainted with all my ways. 
Even before a word is on my tongue, 
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” 
Psalm 139:1–4 
 
God spoke and the world came into being. Jesus spoke to illness and demons, healed and delivered people, and radically altered lives. He can use others, yes, but He alone heals and transforms my inner world as I make space for Him and invite Him into my days, good and bad. I need Him to speak into and continually transform my inner world. 
 
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” 
Proverbs 4:23 
 
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ​And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”  
1 Cor. 13:1–2 
 
As this style of “doing life” has become my rhythm more and more, I have recognized I am less focused on the act of doing and more focused on the work of becoming. Processing my life, thoughts and heart daily with Him is work. And making decisions with my Father – with the Bible as my plumbline – while being in community with others is intentional. It is the work of becoming the clay in the potter’s hand.​

“But now, O LORD, you are our Father; 
we are the clay, and you are our potter; 
we are all the work of your hand.” 
Isaiah 64:8 
 
This means when I do the activities of a disciple, it comes from a growing desire to be with Him and partner with His plans because I know Him and want to be with Him. 
 
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” 
John 14:15 
 
How I spend my time now represents the bigger picture of partnering with my Father. My activities are no longer the goal of my life but the fruit of my identity. Which means they are exciting, purposeful and satisfying. The work that my Father gives me is meaningful and fulfilling because it comes out of my relationship with Him. 
 
I am slowly becoming a disciple from the inside out.  
 
 Blessings,
​Christine