I don’t know when it happened. I can guess, though I’m not exactly sure. But looking back on my life, I realize that somewhere along the way I began a shift from doing discipleship-themed things to doing the work of becoming someone who was a disciple. Yes, they are different! It crept up on me subtly, because my goal wasn’t to become a disciple. To be honest, I didn’t realize I needed to become one. I thought I already was one by believing in Jesus.
 
I had always attended or practised discipleship-themed activities. I read my Bible, attended small groups, volunteered at church functions, and even picked up some religious-focused responsibilities, such as teaching Sunday school and helping with church events and services. I was never on the worship team, as that would have been painful for all involved (lol). But all these things were external. I was performing the tasks of a disciple without investing in a relationship with the Father and surrendering to the One, Jesus, I claimed to follow. My thought life, emotional processing, relationships, career, money and time were all primarily untouched by my discipleship-styled works.
 
Don’t get me wrong, all these activities are good and Biblical. But they had a very limited impact on my internal world. I could get “feel good” moments from helping or spending time with others without engaging much with the Father at all. He wasn’t Lord of my life.
 
Just because you live in a barn doesn’t mean you are a horse.
 
I suspect I would have continued this way indefinitely if not for the inevitable crisis we all eventually face. That time when our world is rocked to the core. Where coping skills and Christian sayings no longer meet our needs. When my crisis hit, actually a series of them, I had several options to choose from:
 

•    I could find others who were going through similar situations and take comfort in complaining with them.

•    I could turn to the world’s belief systems for guidance.

•    I could find a good counsellor and ask them, and only them, what to do.

•    I could dig deep into the Word, press into the Father’s presence and ask the One I worship and follow for help, wisdom and comfort – and then seek Godly counsel.

 
Thankfully, I picked the last option, and the counsellor I sought help from demonstrated the wisdom to walk alongside me rather than become a substitute for God in my life. Biblical community is so important! But if community replaces our primary relationship with God, we are in danger of becoming disciples of our community instead of our Heavenly Father. It is only through an invested and surrendered life to our Father in Heaven, the triune Godhead, that we can become disciples. His words alone can heal and transform our inner world, priorities and relationships.
 
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; 
    you discern my thoughts from afar. 
You search out my path and my lying down 
    and are acquainted with all my ways. 
Even before a word is on my tongue, 
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” 
Psalm 139:1–4 
 
God spoke and the world came into being. Jesus spoke to illness and demons, healed and delivered people, and radically altered lives. He can use others, yes, but He alone heals and transforms my inner world as I make space for Him and invite Him into my days, good and bad. I need Him to speak into and continually transform my inner world. 
 
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” 
Proverbs 4:23 
 
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ​And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”  
1 Cor. 13:1–2 
 
As this style of “doing life” has become my rhythm more and more, I have recognized I am less focused on the act of doing and more focused on the work of becoming. Processing my life, thoughts and heart daily with Him is work. And making decisions with my Father – with the Bible as my plumbline – while being in community with others is intentional. It is the work of becoming the clay in the potter’s hand.​

An alternative to letting go of the rudder could look the exact opposite. Perhaps you are driven by injustice, and the bigger the wave, the more attractive it is. I like roller coasters, so I can relate to loving an adrenaline rush! I am also a mama of four beautiful people, and my “mama-bear instinct” is very real. If I witness an injustice to someone I care about, my little sun-loving boat can quickly become a warship decked out with guns and a flight deck. Then, I am no longer coasting but barreling through waves, no matter how big they are. However, whether coasting or barreling, I am still steering by whatever I decide is my business. 
 
Here’s the challenge: my desire to be in a relationship with God the Father pulls starkly against my desire to steer my own boat, whether it is a cute, sun-loving sailboat or a full-on warship. The more I spend time with Him and do the work of discipleship and investing in my relationship with Him, the more I realize the very act of becoming a disciple involves surrendering the rudder of my boat to Him. Discipleship, by definition, is entering into the work of following Jesus, who tells me to lay down my life and follow Him.  
 
“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” 
Luke 9:23–24  
 
Minding my own business sharply contrasts Jesus’ command to follow Him. He wants me to mind His business, not mine or the world’s. His business stretches far beyond me. 
 
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” 
Proverbs 19:21  
 
Can one actually achieve coasting today, or at least the illusion of it? Yes, I believe you can achieve an illusion of it if your goal is to mind your own business. Although, to achieve a constant sense of calm waters you will need to actively steer away from what you do not want to experience. However, if your goal is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, your “business” must be laid down at His feet, and your rudder must be placed in His hands. No longer will you be the captain of your boat. Instead, you will be the first mate on the adventure of a lifetime with a more transformative and fulfilling life than you could ever create yourself. 
 
“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:” 
Ephesians 4:14–15  
 
Blessings, 
Christine 
 ​

Christine Olding

​“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:19–20

Growing up in the traditional church, I heard these verses repeatedly. My childhood was peppered with reminders that we, as Christians, were to go out and make disciples. Somewhere in my childhood and even my adult brain, I was translating the word “disciple” to “new believer.” If I’m honest, I didn’t realize this until roughly 10 years ago. When in a crisis, it hit me that this business of pressing harder into my Heavenly Father’s presence, actively seeking friendship with Jesus, and digging deep into God’s Word for an answer to that all-important question, “What would Jesus do?” was the active daily work of discipleship. Becoming a disciple is not an identity that one attains but a path that one begins and does not reach the end of this side of heaven.

I must admit that for the early part of my life, I tended to be preoccupied with who I was in God’s eyes and how He saw me. Just being loved by God was my goal, and I sought that place out daily to rest in and feel safe. Please understand that I still love bathing in my Heavenly Father’s love! Who doesn’t prefer to be surrounded by and thrive in unconditional and perfect love? But the more I grew to know the Father, Jesus, and His Spirit, and the more I dug into His Word, the more I realized that God didn’t just love me; He had thoughts, opinions and plans for me. 

 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

I learned that simply being with God wasn’t the end of my experience as a Christian; it was only the beginning.
​
What does it mean for me to be a Christian? Digging down into a salvation moment reveals that it means so much more than entering into God’s family. Accepting Jesus as the Lord of my life means I surrender everything. My goals, my desires, my fears, my victories, my failures and relationships are all meant to be under His Lordship.

“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.’”
Luke 9:23–24

How on earth can I do that without Him? It is impossible for me to navigate my life according to His plans without constantly spending time with Him. I must consistently be digging into God’s Word, talking to the Father about my life, and listening to His heart about things that comprise my path – a path He is building in front of me, laying one stone at a time for me to follow.

“The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way.”
Psalm 37:23

​Do I seek His guidance and goals for my life out of fear? Am I worried that some great fist will appear in my life and punish me if I do not choose God’s path over mine? Not even remotely! As I said earlier, I adore bathing in the Father's love; it is a place that I continually seek. But He doesn’t love me because I chose Him. He loved Me even when I ignored Him.

I can’t lose His love for me. Before I loved Him, before I chose Jesus…when I was ignoring Him and doing my own thing in the world, He gave His Son to die a horrible death on a cross because He loved me even then!
​
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

I am free to choose His path for my life because I am trusting Him and because I am learning that He is actually better at being the Lord of my life than I am.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5–6

What does it look like to actively seek the richness and beauty of a relationship with Jesus, His Father and His Spirit? Constantly pursuing His plans and ways for all my life requires forming time-management habits to do the work. Because this path requires uprooting weeds and inviting the Father to lay the path for me to follow daily, it absolutely requires me to gain personal discipline in order to follow Him consistently.

And entering into this lifestyle of discipleship is the richest, most rewarding, life-changing journey I have ever been on.

Is it worth it?

Absolutely.

Blessings,
Christine
​