“Yet you are holy, 
enthroned on the praises of Israel.” 
Ps. 22:3 ​

I need to refresh myself multiple times a day with the Father, to reset my heart, mind and spirit with Him, to offset the worldly culture and remind myself of who He is, and to invite Him to walk with me through my day. Because abiding with the Father requires devotion. It is not enough for me to barrel through my day, assuming He will keep up. 

So, may I encourage you to take time with the Father today? If you struggle to trust Him with your problems, tell Him that! It’s okay. Posturing our hearts honestly with the Lord is a powerful thing. Engage with your heavenly Father today and find something to thank Him for. Even small gifts of gratitude help shift our mindsets and perspectives of the Father, grounding us in the truth of who He is. When worries, hard decisions or hurts arise, share them with the Father. Then listen for His response. 
​
He is the true author of peace. Our refuge in the storm. And He is just waiting to be invited into your circumstances, to walk with you and be the Father you need. 

Blessigs,
Christine​

Loss is hard, trials are brutal, and disappointment can feel like your insides are being torn apart. I have never begun a day saying, “I think I want to feel deep pain today ... That would be fun.”

Because it isn’t fun, it’s hard. I want to feel happiness, joy, peace and contentment all the time! I’d rather skip the awful feelings and focus on the “God is good” happy feelings. But sadly, if I don’t walk through my losses and feel the feels, letting all the sadness out, it just stays inside and slowly accumulates, taking up space in my very human heart that does not have an infinite emotional capacity.

The sadness and losses don’t go away. We can avoid them, numb them, distract ourselves, shout or even try to sing them away. But they don’t go away. They go down; they become depressed, like depressing a button by pushing it down. But this is the wrong direction if we want to experience the joy and peace that, frankly, everyone wants to enjoy. Because sadness and loss are gifts, too. Wait, did I say gifts?  If I have stockpiled in my heart grief, loss and all the other emotions that difficult times bring, I don’t have much room to hold the joy when it comes. The gift of sadness needs to come up, not go down. And yes, again, I said gift.

“But if I let up my pain, it may never end.”

If you’ve stockpiled it up, yes, there will be a lot. Just don’t isolate yourself. You will walk through it and reach the other side. Walk with others who will permit you to feel.

Give yourself grace. Learning to grieve a loss without falling into a place of pain because it happened to you is a learning curve. Read that again.

Stewarding our hearts takes practice, and venting to the Lord is the ultimate safe place. But it is healing to share with selected others – those who will honour our hearts and not rush our healing process, who will listen and not try to fix us.

Do you hear what I am describing? Pouring out our loss and sadness to God the Father is crucial, as is inviting others into our journey. To cheer us on and not rush us as we pour our hearts out to God. We need both. We need to find those who will accept us in our mess and not try to be God in our lives.

So, when hard things happen, recognize that it is just a season. We have valleys and mountains. Both occur throughout this gift of life that is given to us. You can walk through them to the other side, pouring out your emotions, honouring what you may have valued and then lost. This gives what you lost meaning. Our sadness can be a gift to ourselves, allowing us to honour and affirm something precious that we no longer have. Expressing pain can be a sign that says, “This matters.” In pouring out our feelings and releasing them to the Father, who cares about our hearts, we provide space in our hearts for other things.

Like joy.

It will be okay.


Blessings,
Christine

Imagine a home with dinner on a long wooden table, benches on either side, and candles illuminating the food and the faces of people sitting around. Guests come to the door holding lamps to light their way. Shadows dance on the walls and over people’s faces. Rooms darkened by the evening lead further off the main room into blacked-out bedrooms. And windows open to the night reveal an inky sky with only the occasional lamp of a passing traveller or nearby home to break its darkness.

When you read this, what emotions stir within you? For me, it is both a fear of the darkness and a love of candlelight and coziness. But any discomfort I feel about the darkness is offset by the knowledge that I can turn on a light and cause the shadows to disappear so I can see where I am walking again. Praise God for electricity!

But for the people living during the time of Jesus, darkness was a daily inevitability. Sunset was simply the announcement of oncoming darkness that could not be broken by the streetlamps or well-lit households we are used to. The luxury of preparing a meal in a bright kitchen was unheard of after sunset. Darkness came every evening, with all it brought with it — thieves, attacks and worse. You could use a lantern while walking to a neighbour’s home at night, but you could not see past the light that your lamp cast for your feet.

Do we, in the Western world today, comprehend the relief of a sunrise? Do we understand the lifestyle of being led by only a lantern at night — not just during a camping trip, but every day of our lives? Where darkness invites unknown and very real danger and where no one can control the routine disappearance of light with every sunset? Sunrise was, and still is in some countries, a daily relief because with it comes safety.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Psalm 119:105

Confused by the world? I understand! Uncertain of what direction to go? I have been there countless times, my friend. Feeling overwhelmed by too many unknowns in your life right now? I can relate. Unsure of what decision to make? There is hope!

It is not accidental that Jesus repeatedly refers to His presence as light. The early church culture had to rely on weak, man-made light to dispel their daily darkness. Darkness and the unknown were familiar and predictable. It was all they had, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. When Jesus came, He changed all that. He said He was the light. No need to manufacture self-revelation or rely on self-achieved knowledge or wisdom to solve problems on our own.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” 
John 8:12

We do not need to walk alone anymore, relying on our incomplete selves to figure life out. It is not a life of “you're on your own because no one else will do it for you.” Jesus offers to do life with us every step of the way.

David said it well:

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
Psalm 27:1

Sadly, dear ones, it is not our wisdom or education that dispels our darkness. I know some may disagree with that. Let's face it — we can have pretty high opinions of our own intellect. But God says true wisdom is a gift from Him.
 
So whether you know Jesus or not (it does not matter. We all need this) ...

Ask God for help.

Ask Him for wisdom.

Invite Jesus to take control (again, if need be), giving Him everything in your life and heart one more time, or as a brand new decision. He is just waiting to be invited in!

And enjoy His light in your darkness, my friend. The relief of His friendship is palpable.
​
“In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:4–5
​
Blessings,
Christine​

I don’t know when it happened. I can guess, though I’m not exactly sure. But looking back on my life, I realize that somewhere along the way I began a shift from doing discipleship-themed things to doing the work of becoming someone who was a disciple. Yes, they are different! It crept up on me subtly, because my goal wasn’t to become a disciple. To be honest, I didn’t realize I needed to become one. I thought I already was one by believing in Jesus.
 
I had always attended or practised discipleship-themed activities. I read my Bible, attended small groups, volunteered at church functions, and even picked up some religious-focused responsibilities, such as teaching Sunday school and helping with church events and services. I was never on the worship team, as that would have been painful for all involved (lol). But all these things were external. I was performing the tasks of a disciple without investing in a relationship with the Father and surrendering to the One, Jesus, I claimed to follow. My thought life, emotional processing, relationships, career, money and time were all primarily untouched by my discipleship-styled works.
 
Don’t get me wrong, all these activities are good and Biblical. But they had a very limited impact on my internal world. I could get “feel good” moments from helping or spending time with others without engaging much with the Father at all. He wasn’t Lord of my life.
 
Just because you live in a barn doesn’t mean you are a horse.
 
I suspect I would have continued this way indefinitely if not for the inevitable crisis we all eventually face. That time when our world is rocked to the core. Where coping skills and Christian sayings no longer meet our needs. When my crisis hit, actually a series of them, I had several options to choose from:
 

•    I could find others who were going through similar situations and take comfort in complaining with them.

•    I could turn to the world’s belief systems for guidance.

•    I could find a good counsellor and ask them, and only them, what to do.

•    I could dig deep into the Word, press into the Father’s presence and ask the One I worship and follow for help, wisdom and comfort – and then seek Godly counsel.

 
Thankfully, I picked the last option, and the counsellor I sought help from demonstrated the wisdom to walk alongside me rather than become a substitute for God in my life. Biblical community is so important! But if community replaces our primary relationship with God, we are in danger of becoming disciples of our community instead of our Heavenly Father. It is only through an invested and surrendered life to our Father in Heaven, the triune Godhead, that we can become disciples. His words alone can heal and transform our inner world, priorities and relationships.
 
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; 
    you discern my thoughts from afar. 
You search out my path and my lying down 
    and are acquainted with all my ways. 
Even before a word is on my tongue, 
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” 
Psalm 139:1–4 
 
God spoke and the world came into being. Jesus spoke to illness and demons, healed and delivered people, and radically altered lives. He can use others, yes, but He alone heals and transforms my inner world as I make space for Him and invite Him into my days, good and bad. I need Him to speak into and continually transform my inner world. 
 
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” 
Proverbs 4:23 
 
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ​And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”  
1 Cor. 13:1–2 
 
As this style of “doing life” has become my rhythm more and more, I have recognized I am less focused on the act of doing and more focused on the work of becoming. Processing my life, thoughts and heart daily with Him is work. And making decisions with my Father – with the Bible as my plumbline – while being in community with others is intentional. It is the work of becoming the clay in the potter’s hand.​

An alternative to letting go of the rudder could look the exact opposite. Perhaps you are driven by injustice, and the bigger the wave, the more attractive it is. I like roller coasters, so I can relate to loving an adrenaline rush! I am also a mama of four beautiful people, and my “mama-bear instinct” is very real. If I witness an injustice to someone I care about, my little sun-loving boat can quickly become a warship decked out with guns and a flight deck. Then, I am no longer coasting but barreling through waves, no matter how big they are. However, whether coasting or barreling, I am still steering by whatever I decide is my business. 
 
Here’s the challenge: my desire to be in a relationship with God the Father pulls starkly against my desire to steer my own boat, whether it is a cute, sun-loving sailboat or a full-on warship. The more I spend time with Him and do the work of discipleship and investing in my relationship with Him, the more I realize the very act of becoming a disciple involves surrendering the rudder of my boat to Him. Discipleship, by definition, is entering into the work of following Jesus, who tells me to lay down my life and follow Him.  
 
“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” 
Luke 9:23–24  
 
Minding my own business sharply contrasts Jesus’ command to follow Him. He wants me to mind His business, not mine or the world’s. His business stretches far beyond me. 
 
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” 
Proverbs 19:21  
 
Can one actually achieve coasting today, or at least the illusion of it? Yes, I believe you can achieve an illusion of it if your goal is to mind your own business. Although, to achieve a constant sense of calm waters you will need to actively steer away from what you do not want to experience. However, if your goal is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, your “business” must be laid down at His feet, and your rudder must be placed in His hands. No longer will you be the captain of your boat. Instead, you will be the first mate on the adventure of a lifetime with a more transformative and fulfilling life than you could ever create yourself. 
 
“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:” 
Ephesians 4:14–15  
 
Blessings, 
Christine 
 ​

​Do I seek His guidance and goals for my life out of fear? Am I worried that some great fist will appear in my life and punish me if I do not choose God’s path over mine? Not even remotely! As I said earlier, I adore bathing in the Father's love; it is a place that I continually seek. But He doesn’t love me because I chose Him. He loved Me even when I ignored Him.

I can’t lose His love for me. Before I loved Him, before I chose Jesus…when I was ignoring Him and doing my own thing in the world, He gave His Son to die a horrible death on a cross because He loved me even then!
​
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

I am free to choose His path for my life because I am trusting Him and because I am learning that He is actually better at being the Lord of my life than I am.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5–6

What does it look like to actively seek the richness and beauty of a relationship with Jesus, His Father and His Spirit? Constantly pursuing His plans and ways for all my life requires forming time-management habits to do the work. Because this path requires uprooting weeds and inviting the Father to lay the path for me to follow daily, it absolutely requires me to gain personal discipline in order to follow Him consistently.

And entering into this lifestyle of discipleship is the richest, most rewarding, life-changing journey I have ever been on.

Is it worth it?

Absolutely.

Blessings,
Christine
​

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